Boyfriends

[dieewigenacht]

And any other kind of serious sentimental relationship, seriously.

I don't want it.
I don't need it.

What is so special and tragic about that?


I mean, yes, it's been three years since I had a boyfriend (And that relationship was somehow abusive) and I don't really feel like having another, mainly because I don't really understand the fuzz about boyfriends (or the lack of one)

Yeah sure, hugs and kisses and love and sex and stuff. I get it, and actually it would be kinda nice in certain situations, but my life can't be revolving around someone, let alone a guy who will must likely fuck up after a while.

True, I might be scared to initiate a new relationship, and there's reasons for that. As I said, my last relationship could be considered abusive, and it's been so long since I actually dated or flirted or did stuff that I really don't know how to do it (I think I never knew to start with) but really? I just don't see the point.

Usually it doesn't bothers me. Hell, usually I don't think about it. But sometimes the theme will appear and then the shocked and somehow saddened expressions of other students will just turn the conversation into a discussion where I try to defend my point that "Relationships, specially at our age, aren't something as serious as you people believe, and certainly not as attention worthy"
I hate those discussions because I always end up being treated with something not unlike pity, which just pisses me off.

Comments

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

Relationships at any age shouldn't be the end-all point of existence. I'm not sure why so few people see that. :\ If you create your life around someone else, how is that even mistaken for a good thing?

(hugs!) Long story short, people are idiots and frequently can be mistaken for herd animals.

[dieewigenacht.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not sure either.
And it's something to be worried about, and after a while even angered. A lot of my "friends" (They are nice people, I just can't think about them as friends) seem to believe that having a relationship is what college is for (And parties, don't forget the parties).
And although I understand some parts of it I just can't relate. To be honest I don't want to relate with that kind of people, or to be around them at all.
Sometimes however it is unavoidable, and when the fact that I have no boyfriend and that I don't want surfaces, then I'm in for a world of suffering, because god, this people just won't understand that relationships complicate everything.

[cursor-mundi.livejournal.com]

What 'faerii said. Also, relationships at extremely young ages have to change radically, as the individuals in the relationship grown and change themselves. Until you know who you are and what you need, relationships have the potential to be harmful, not hurtful. Once you're clear on yourself, your goals, the points you won't compromise and the ones you will, then relationships become an option. For example, I personally don't think that attempting serious relationships while taking a heavy course load are a good idea at all--I never have enough time for me, much less another person.

Eventually, people will mature enough to realize these things; and the benefit is, once you've gotten yourself straightened out and decide to figure things out, your judgment for compatibility with another person increases. My parents were married within 2 years of their first meeting, but they met in their mid thirties and knew themselves well enough to be able to figure out pretty quickly that they would work well together as spouses. They also talked out things like their expectations, children, home ownership, etc., before they committed, and it's made for a pretty good marriage from my perspective.

[dieewigenacht.livejournal.com]

I personally don't think that attempting serious relationships while taking a heavy course load are a good idea at all

This.
This so much.

I mean, my course isn't exactly loaded (To be honest I have plenty of time in my hands, a little too much actually) but let's be honest. I don't trust myself to be on a relationship or in some sort of compromise, and I sure as hell don't trust others.
Also, I've said it a lot of times before, and I'll say it once again:

I'm a University Student, my parents worked really hard to pay for this and I'm working hard to have an scholarship. Whatever I do here will be important, having a boyfriend would just complicate things.


I do realize that relationships can be harmful in certain situations, that is probably one of the huge list of reasons I don't (and won't) pursue a relationship anytime near.

(Also, I think that almost everyone my age is just a retard, so that might be a reason as well)

[cursor-mundi.livejournal.com]

I make it a policy not to date retards, but even I slip up sometimes! :D

And, really, if you're happy? Then there's no need to rush to change things. If your social circle doesn't get it, they won't get it; I have friends who I love dearly who go from relationship to relationship and are always asking why they're miserable, and I just grin at them and ask if they really want me to answer. Gotta do what's right for you.