This girl has a point. You can't look down at others in order to accept yourself. You shouldn't judge others to feel better.
I've talked about this already in a past post. I realized I was being hypocrite for thinking of myself gorgeous while judging people that I, in some way, envied.

You can't.

You can't learn to love yourself by hating others. That's just another way of hurting, you are just reflecting what you don't like about yourself in others.

If you are fat and you don't feel okay with that, you can't mock think people and judge them by how they look under the false pretense of being concerned because "they don't eat".
If you are skinny and you want more curves, you can't make fun of fat people and criticize the way they look, again, under a false pretense of being concerned because "they eat too much".

The same goes for all kind of things. If you don't feel pretty you can't judge gorgeous people and say they are stupid. You can't feel better about yourself by laughing at someone who doesn't look like you.

Once you've learn that accepting others is a HUGE step of accepting yourself (And the other way around).
Once you've learn that people are people and what is important is what's inside and not outside.
Once you've learn to take your time to know new people, even if they make you feel insecure. To talk to them, to treat them as a person and not a menace or a reflection of your "faults":

That's when you learn to love yourself and others. To value people not as bodies but as human beings.

Today in self defense class I met the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She is tall, thin, blond, with great proportions and a beautiful face. She captured the eyes of men and women easily an everyone wanted to be around her.
I felt bad, wrong. I didn't liked to by in the same room as her.
Then she was teamed up with me. For a couple of seconds she was this gorgeous woman I didn't liked to see, nevertheless touch. After ten minutes of working as a team and helping each other up, I realized she is a fantastic girl. She's kind, humble and really damn smart. She knew way more than me and she was kind and patient.
After that, she was not just the gorgeous woman. She was a team member, someone I could trust. At the end of the class she was still gorgeous, but I was feeling okay because I knew that wasn't important. That she was way more than her looks, and I realized she feels the same way about me.

From: [identity profile]

Hello Alejandra, I've been reading your blog for a while but haven't commented before because I had nothing to say, until now that -I think- found some mistakes -regarding to the upper post-.

you can't mock THIN people.

to treat them as a person and not AS a menace (I'm not sure but I think this conjunction has to be on both sides of the sentence).

I didn't LIKE to BE in the same room as her.

I didn't LIKE to see.

That's all.

About your post, there is something I didn't get. At the beginning you wrote that you were being hypocrite because you feel gorgeous and you judged people who you envy -prettier that you, I assume-. But later you said that if you don't feel pretty you can't judge gorgeous people. So, I guess you can. Maybe it's like this racism issue, where if black people say 'negro' it's not racism, but if white people say it, it's an offense.

I personally look down at a variety of people, not because of their condition, but because of what they did to end up in that condition, I mean, because of a lack of will. For example, fat people, I don't care about how they look, but I feel a bit of repulsion when thinking that they had to eat like a pig for years without taking care of themselves, and when they get depressed (because they do) they eat more to overcome depression, or when they get ill because of their fatness and they blame god or anything else, etc.

Well I just started this comment to correct the words I saw.


From: [identity profile]

Thanks for the corrections, I'm going to change that in a while.
I think I should proof-read what I write, because most of this mistakes are quiet obvious.

See, looking down at people really helps no one. I mean, I KNOW it's almost impossible to do. I just don't feel comfortable looking down at people because of their bodies, no matter what.
There are people out there that look down at me because of the way I look, and I decided that I'm not going to feel good with myself by looking down at others, it's just not helpful.

What you need to realize is that most fat people (I won't say all, because there are a wide variety of factors involved in weight gain) don't consciously decide to get fat, or to "eat like a pig" to quote you.
I have my experience in this case. Right now I'm just shy of 30lbs overweight, it's not much and even though I'm comfortable with the way I look I'm working to loose some weight because both sides of my family have someone with diabetes. (Not that I'm saying that getting thin will save me from it, but it make my odds considerably smaller).

I must say that once I was fatter and I didn't decided it, heck. I didn't even realized it after a while. You get fat periodically, so it's pretty easy to not notice it immediately, one day you just do it.
The thing is, the more you eat the more it takes to satisfy you, at least that was my case. So after a while for some people it's not so much the I eat so much because I'm fat and I like it, but I eat so much because I feel hungry.

Sure, one may say it's just a matter of deciding to loose weight, but it is not. Yeah, a lot of people can do it just by working out and eating healthy, but others can't. Either it is the way their bodies work or something else, loosing weight is not easy for everyone.
Add to that the fact that society will constantly be pressuring you to loose weight by making you feel disgusting, worthless and not human at all, and the whole thing gets worse.
Yeah, some people may eat because they are depressed, I know I do it, but it's not the case for everyone.

What I mean is that while some people may be fat because of the reasons you think, there are others who are trying to change that/don't want to change that/ or are fat for a whole lot of reasons, and judging them by the same norms is just plain unfair.

Again, I take my experiences as an example. I'm 5'4 I weight 130, give or take. I look fat for everyone that knows me, not obese, but fat, overweight if you will.
I have a balanced diet, I drink water regularly, I try to avoid junk food unless it's something special and I work out an average of 8 hours a week. (Tenis, Yoga and Self Defense. Cardio, Resistance, Strength and Flexibility). The last I do it because I enjoy it, not to loose weight.

Yet, almost everyone I get to know for the first time will immediately assume I gobble down all kinds of crap and I'm working out to get thin. They all assume I have no physical condition and all kinds of shit.
Now, if they think this about me I can't begin to imagine what they think about people more fat that I am. And I know that just like me, all fat and thin people have different experiences, lives and stories. They don't need to justify being fat, they are fat and that's just the way they are.
As such, people really shouldn't look down at others thinking they know exactly why they look the way they look, because you don't know it for certain, and you end up looking at people as an object to reflect your ideas, not as people.

Or at least that's how I see it.


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